Raising A Gentleman

Today is a big deal! My son is 3 years old! How did time go by so fast? I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’s about to leave the nest soon. My goal has always been to raise a strong and compassionate man. Reflecting on his three years, and just like any other parent, there has been some very high-highs and low-lows. The good outweighs the bad 🙂 It’s a huge honor to be a parent. It takes courage to trust the journey and raising my son has been quite fulfilling 🙂

So often, the narratives we hear about boys and men are negative. It’s hard not to worry. And the constant “boys will be boys” messaging makes me question whether certain troubling behaviors and attitudes are simply part of male nature. I don’t believe they are. I believe boys’ behaviors are shaped far more by culture than biology.

From parents, relatives, peers, teachers, and the media, boys receive powerful messages: be tough, don’t show emotion, compete, dominate, be strong, be powerful. Some even learn that they are entitled to deference from girls and women, or that objectifying them is acceptable. The result? Not-so-good boys—not because they’re born that way, but because they’re taught to be.

With my son, I try to teach something different. I teach him the value of love, vulnerability, and respect. I give him space to express himself when he’s sad, uncomfortable, or hurt. I intentionally steer away from the “be a man, suck it up” mentality, while still allowing him the independence to make his own choices and learn from them.

Because raising good men starts with how we raise our boys.

Additionally, I make a conscious effort to avoid teaching gender stereotypes. I expose him to a wide range of toys and activities, even those traditionally labeled “for girls.” At home, chores are shared equally – he helps clean, cook, fold clothes, and iron. I strongly believe that dismantling these stereotypes early will pay off in the long run, shaping him into a more capable, empathetic, and respectful adult.

Boundaries are another critical lesson. From a very young age, it’s important for boys to understand that they have autonomy over their own bodies. My son knows he has the right to decide who can touch him, when, and how. Everyone – without exception – must ask his permission before hugging or kissing him. If he says no, that boundary is respected. Sometimes, I offer alternatives – a handshake, a high-five, or a wave – but even then, he’s allowed to say no to all three. Just as importantly, he’s taught that other people have the same rights. He isn’t allowed to touch someone – or their belongings – without permission.

Because when boys learn consent and respect early, they grow into men who practice it naturally.

Above all, Stay Engaged! Maintaining that one-on-one connection allows you to continue helping him navigate any difficult issues as he approaches manhood. Remember, teens raised in a climate where family members we’re loving and supportive of one another have better relationship problem -solving skills as young adults.

Happy Birthday myAce! Proud of the boy and man you’re becoming. I’m so proud to be your mama! 

Did this article help you? Feel free to drop a comment or email. Let’s chat away! It takes a village to raise a gentleman.

Love & light! ❤️

 

DETAILS:

Photography & Editing by: The Musah Studio

Ace’s outfits: Angies Baby Shop. and Tinker Kiddies

My Black denim dress: NewLook

Source accredited Raising Boys

Pictures copyright ©