Raising A Gentleman

Today is a big deal! My son is 3 years old! How did time go by so fast? I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’s about to leave the nest soon. My goal has always been to raise a strong and compassionate man. Reflecting on his three years, and just like any other parent, there has been some very high-highs and low-lows. The good outweighs the bad 🙂 It’s a huge honor to be a parent. It takes courage to trust the journey and raising my son has been quite fulfilling 🙂

So often, the things we hear about boys and men are negative. It’s hard not to worry 🙁 And then the constant “boys will be boys” messages make me question whether certain troublesome behaviors and attitudes are just part of the male makeup. I believe boys’ behaviors are more cultural than biological. Parents, relatives, peers, teachers, and [the media] send messages to boys that they should be tough, unemotional, competitive, strong, and powerful. Boys may even learn they should expect deference from girls and women and it’s okay to objectify them. The result: Not-so-good boys.

I teach my son the importance of love, vulnerability and respect. I allow him to express himself when he’s sad, or when he doesn’t like something or even when he’s hurt. I try to veer of from “you’re a man, suck it up” mentality but in the same breathe allow him to independently make the right decisions.

Additionally, I avoid teaching gender stereotypes. I offer him a variety of toys and activities, even if they’re typically considered to be for girls. When it comes to chores in the house, they are divided equally, for instance; he’ll help clean up, help cook, fold clothes, iron clothes etc. I’m a firm believer that avoiding gender stereotypes will pay off in the long run.

There’s also the aspect of boundaries. It’s important to teach our boys to respect and understand boundaries. At the preschool stage, it’s important to let your son know very early that he has the right to determine who can touch his body, along with when and how. That means everyone, has to get his permission before kissing or hugging him. If he refuses, don’t force it. (Sometimes it’s good to offer the option of a kiss, a handshake or high-five, or a wave, but, again, he’s allowed to say no to all three.) Then, teach him other people have the same rights — he isn’t allowed to touch someone or their belongings without their permission.

Above all, Stay Engaged! Maintaining that one-on-one connection allows you to continue helping him navigate any difficult issues as he approaches manhood. Remember, teens raised in a climate where family members we’re loving and supportive of one another have better relationship problem -solving skills as young adults.

Happy Birthday myAce! Proud of the boy and man you’re becoming. I’m so proud to be your mama! 😍 🥰

Did this article help you? Feel free to drop a comment or email. Let’s chat away! It takes a village to raise a gentleman.

Love & light! 😘

DETAILS:

Photography & Editing by: The Musah Studio

Ace’s outfits: Angies Baby Shop. and Tinker Kiddies

My Black denim dress: NewLook

Source accredited Raising Boys

Pictures copyright ©