Personal Growth. Letting go.

Letting go can be hard because it means letting go of aspects of your past. We’ve all been blessed with heart-breaking situations where people have wronged us or things haven’t gone the way we would like. Moving past them is difficult. True? If you’ve ended a career, or time in your life, it’s tough to let go and move on.

Your subconscious, or monkey mind, wants to hold onto it like a dog that won’t let go of a bone. It wants to chew on it, gnaw and dig into the painful center of it. You get consumed into the drama of the monkey. You start to think of “what if’s” and “if only’s” that your monkey mind creates to add even more drama and negative feelings.

It would be so much easier to just let go and move on with your life, but the monkey won’t let you. You try to let go. Just when things seem to be going well again, the old thoughts start to arise again, sabotaging things.

Why is it so hard to let go? Why is it difficult to forgive and forget?

THE NEED TO BE RIGHT

Safety is the monkey mind’s number one priority, and being wrong is not safe.

The monkey will go out of its way to dream up all the reasons that you were right and the other person or aspects of the situation were wrong. It won’t let go of the need to be right. But there you are, stuck in the middle with your monkey screeching in one ear and your wiser self whispering in the other, urging you to move on.

Unfortunately, it’s all in the past and there’s nothing you can do about it. The drama, the holding on, is in your own mind. You are the only one with the power to let it go. Rather than possibly admitting defeat and letting go, what if there were another way? A more mindful way that has nothing to do with right and wrong.

LET IT BE

The only meaning that anything has is the meaning you give it. One of the core tenets of mindfulness is to observe without judgment. Making people or things right or wrong involves passing judgment on them. Could you look at the situation differently or more objectively? Could you create a different story about it? What lessons could you then glean from the whole mess? How could it help you? How can you feel and get better?

There’s a saying that says, the only way past fear is through it. All negative emotions are based on fear. An inability to let go is based on fear. If you weren’t afraid of letting go, you would have done it already.

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. ~Thich Nhat Hanh”

There also some simple steps you could follow depending on the level of severity of the situation you’re dealing with, you may be able to work through the emotions on your own. Click Here for a process you can work through to loosen the grip of the “letting go” situation.

Did this article help you? If it did, be sure to leave me a comment or drop me an email (Let’s connect) Also, share with a friend. 🙂 You can make the new year worthwhile, count your blessings, celebrate small wins and most importantly let go of things that do not grow you or build you. Stay positive. Stay winning.

It’s up to you to re-write your story.

Adios! Thanks for reading and Happy Holidays!
Love & Light!

IMPORTANT TO NOTE:

Photography by John Kuria

Makeup by John Kuria

Head-warp stylist Keseri Head-wraps

Source/Inspiration: Simple Mindfulness